Happiness. Short-term, stupid, self-interest.

Learn How to Park

Those painted lines in a parking lot… the ones all neatly laid out… someone went through all that trouble SO YOU CAN PARK BETWEEN THEM! OMG, WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO PARK?!?!?!?!

I'm pushed one step closer to the loony bin every time I see a car parked crooked, or offset, or even taking up two complete spaces. It drives me nuts! I don't care that you bought a $50,000 oversized shopping cart, or a Ford Monstrosity, or bangin' Civic… learn how to get it between the lines evenly!

Yesterday, it was some non-descript car parked so off center it took up two spaces at the baseball fields where parking is always an issue due to the sheer number of people. This morning, it was at the gym where I was still sitting in my car getting my headphones on when a chick in a Durango quickly pulls in next to me, off-center, crooked, wheels turned, and too far forward. Well, she'll straighten out… … … NO! Apparently that's good enough for her and off she goes.


OK, here's how you do it: 1) You need some room to pivot your car in so give yourself some margin before trying to turn in. 2) Swing the front of your car to the far side of the space (as far as you can, but please don't hit my car) 3) Sharply straighten your wheels back out as you finish. This isn't parallel parking, it's very simple. 4) And if you screw up, fix it!

(Don't even get me started on people who can't pull out of a driveway backwards)


June 23, 2006 - Posted by | Pet Peeves


  1. It wasn’t raining, was it? I have my own theory about that.

    Don’t forget that the Northeast has the dumbest drivers.

    Comment by Wrathchild | June 26, 2006

  2. Nope, no rain. What’s your theory?

    Comment by nyrampage | June 29, 2006

  3. To be honest the only time I don’t care if I double park is when I go to a soccor game and park my squad car over two stalls. Better the lessen the chance of someone dinging the squad and I have to write a report. 😉

    Comment by GreatEqualizer | July 1, 2006

  4. My theory: Intelligence is water soluble. When there is any sort of precipitation-rain, snow, fog-people forget how to drive.

    Comment by Wrathchild | July 1, 2006

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